A Thousand Steps

‘A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step’ Lao Tzu I want to write a novel – it’s a daunting task. I need about a hundred thousand words. If I sit down and work out how long it will take me if I write 500 words, 5 days a week, I will be totally fazed and consider it impossible. So, what do I do? I write the first word and then the next. Well – that’s the theory! Don’t get me wrong, there’s a plan. I more or less know where I am going but I…

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Who controls your emotions?

Do your emotions control you or do you control your emotions?  Do you know that we do things in order to change the way we feel?  Think of eating that bar of chocolate or drinking that G&T – why are we doing it?  Are we doing it to change the way we are feeling?  Maybe to calm us down, to cheer us up or to make us feel better?   Sometimes we go shopping to reward ourselves or to cheer ourselves up.  All the time that we self-medicate with our chosen ‘drug’ we are letting our emotions control us.  But actually…

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Are you grateful?

According to Melody Beattie –   ‘Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today and creates a vision for tomorrow ‘   Melody Beattie has had a number of big challenges in her life and has gone on to write many inspirational books.  One of her main points is the benefit that we could all gain from identifying things in our life that we are grateful for.  This can be tricky.  Some of us get ill, lose our jobs, lose close friends and relatives.  Sometimes it’s really hard to find something to feel positive and upbeat about and certainly nothing to feel grateful…

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Beliefs

‘Our beliefs strongly influence our behaviour’ (‘Introducing Neuro-Linguistic Programming’ Connor & Seymour)  – a really strong statement.  A quick example – if you believe that you can’t sing then you are most unlikely to consider joining a choir.    So why do we have beliefs?  Our belief system is how we make sense of our world.  We believe in the laws of nature, we know that we can’t step off tall buildings and survive, we know that fire burns and that night follows day.  We learn these things as we grow up but we also learn beliefs that shape our lives.  Our parents…

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Running on empty

When you think of caring, who do you think of?  Probably not yourself.  We have a huge tendency to look after everyone else and then what happens?  We forget to look after ourselves.  Imagine if you went to see a doctor and he was dripping blood from an open wound – I guess you would suggest that he sorted himself out before he came near you.  And that’s what we all need to do.  We can’t help others from a place of pain and hurt, from a place of emptiness.  The skill lies in finding ways to make ourselves whole and…

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Clear the screen

Do you have a lot of ‘yes buts’ in your life?  Do you spend a lot of time being afraid of what might happen or looking to recreate something good that has happened before?  Bevis tells us the tale of the rattlesnake and the butterfly.  If you are out walking and you encounter a rattlesnake you will quite probably be pretty freaked, I know I would.  If you are not careful you will be on the lookout for rattlesnakes every time you go out – especially if you go back to where you saw it the first time.    How about…

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Frustration!

I used to get really frustrated when things didn’t turn out how I had planned.  I have a new idea at least every day, I make plans and I expect things to work perfectly.  I expect to write that book in a week, get lots of clients, get fit and lose weight.  I thought this was all quite reasonable. But low and behold, it didn’t all happen!  The outcomes didn’t meet my expectations, I was frustrated (after all, I had done my best, I’d worked really hard) and I was so very disappointed.  The fact that I had written the…

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Why investing in yourself is the best investment

It is all too easy to push personal development programmes/coaching and the things that will help you to grow your business/career to the bottom of your to do list. However, by developing a relationship with a coach/trainer you will begin to implement changes.You’ll not only benefit from on-going support and advice, you’ll also greatly reduce the chances of setbacks inhibiting progress. What’s more, you’ll be much more likely to take the positive steps necessary to achieve your goals, as you will have someone holding you accountable if you don’t! Let’s look at an example of how this whole process works…

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The ego versus the true self

These words came out of a recent coaching session and I thought they may be of use to you… NB Whatever words I use are never accurate enough to properly describe the true self… The egoic mind can be brash or arrogant. It lies within our own head and can be anxious, worried or a victim. It has dramas, battles and is addicted to pleasure, distractions and pain. It is the emotion which arises from those pleasures, distractions & pains and is triumphant when things are perceived to have gone well and despondent when things do not… It is the…

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Overcome fear and become a more fulfilled parent and partner!

As a coach, trainer and consultant the conversations I have with my clients often move beyond business… All of us have key relationships in our lives that are crucially important to our feelings of security, fulfillment and contentment. Many of us over our lives experience challenges that range from the break down of relationships to the subtle impact of fear interfering with our enjoyment or the time we have with loved ones. Let’s explore the latter for a moment… Many of my business clients have admitted to me over the years that they find more enjoyment during the week than…

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